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Title : AMERICAN "SHADOW PRESIDENT" BANNON SECRETLY "WEDS" JAPANESE WAIFU
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AMERICAN "SHADOW PRESIDENT" BANNON SECRETLY "WEDS" JAPANESE WAIFU

There are disturbing rumours coming out of Tokyo that Steve Bannon, described in Japan as "The Shadow President" because of his hidden influence on the Trump administration, has secretly acquired a Japanese "waifu," all the better to cement a new Neocon alliance between the US and Japan, aimed at the rising power of China. 

The union is said to have taken place in a secret ceremony held during Bannon's recent trip to Tokyo, where he addressed a conference of ethnic and religious elements opposed to Beijing. 

The young lady in question is believed to be YouTube blogger and ultra Japanese nationalist, Random Yoko, whose age remains something of a secret. As she is a Japanese woman her age could be anything from 12 to 45. Yoko formerly had an intense crush on Donald Trump, but gave up when he failed to invite her to his inauguration. 

We wish Bannon and his new waifu all the best in their new transpacific partnership. 

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Note: for those ignorant of Japanese culture, the term "waifu" in Japan is not equivalent to the English term "wife." In Otaku circles and among anime fans, it is used to refer to one’s favourite female manga or anime character. By extension it also means a non-sexual relationship with a woman who keeps you firmly in the "friend zone."

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